After my most recent post, I determined that I was not updating this blog near often enough. I suppose, if I am to keep up with it, I really want to focus more to do so. Sometimes, it just hard to figure out where to start when you are already in the middle. I guess, since I don’t have a lot going on today, I could focus more on some general things.
My life has been full of ups and downs lately. It seems that I keep coming up with trade offs in my life as though some sort of strange karma were affecting me. Unfortunately, while I am still working on bettering myself, I feel as though I leave a great many things behind, and this does make me feel as though I am losing a part of myself. I am not sure how else to become the person I want to be though. I have never been one to hide from telling people about myself either. However, it is still difficult to open my heart and emotions to change. I often think of myself as an open book. When asked questions, I answer honestly. Although, I must admit that there are emotions that do not always come out in my statements. To be more metaphorical, that book has a lot of filled space in between each line of every paragraph, and, even though I am always optimistic, there are feelings inside of me that very few people will ever know about without having a serious conversation.
This isn’t all meant to say that I am some strange hurting person. So, I will move on to a question that I will ask myself. Am I capable of being happy and loving? Of course. I have been in relationships where I have felt a great deal of love and caring. I am also very caring of my friends and have often gone out of my way to help people when I knew that they needed help. My reasoning for this is simply that I want them to be happy. I am also also always optimistic, and I believe that something good can come out of practically anything. I see the lighter side of life and enjoy smiles and laughter. Of course, my sense of humor can sometimes be a little dry and off, but it’s the idea of getting someone to laugh or even look at something in a way that they never may have otherwise that is really the point. I believe in having fun and doing things to be happy.
I know I’ve gone on a little bit of an emotional rant here. However, this is my blog, and I want it to truly show me. Also, I don’t normally make it a point of sharing this site for the most part, so chances are most of you (meaning the people in my life that will most likely never find this if they don’t think to look) will never read this anyway. If you are reading this though, and you feel like asking any questions or making any comments, feel free to in the box below (requires Facebook login) or just give me a call. That’s always a friendly thing.
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